Let Him Hear it! Let Him Know it!

The Power of "Little" Things

This morning I praise you Lord for the little things in my marriage.  I see you in all of them!

LITTLE THING 1)  We had freezing rain this morning so I told Dave I was going to take Liem, our oldest, to school instead of having him walk.   (He usually walks since we live right behind his high school.)  After we said our goodbyes, Dave comes back a few minutes later to tell me he had warmed up his truck, cleaned the ice off the windshield and wanted me to drive it.   I didn't even ask, nor was I even thinking about it. I was too busy whipping up PB&J's and BLT's for the boys for lunch.   I just had to zap myself out of my frantic lunch making mode to give him a hug and kiss and tell him how much that was appreciated.

LITTLE THING 2) A couple of weeks ago, I passed out on the couch after a long night of studying.  The following morning, I semi-woke up to Dave adjusting the blanket to cover my exposed leg.  It was beyond trivial for him to do, but so incredibly sweet and thoughtful.  I honestly don't even know if I would have done the same if I saw his big ol' foot stinking out of the blanket!   Unfortunately, I was too out of it to even say thank you.  But I'm glad I still remember.  (So Honey, if you're reading this, "Thank You!")

LITTLE THING 3) Another, passing out from studying story....only this time I was carried upstairs to bed!

To me, nothing about any of these is "little".  But I can see how "little" things in our marriage can be taken for granted, overlooked or not attempted.  I share these stories for many reasons.

1) To journal this for me to remember.
2) To praise God for them.
3) To encourage us to look for the little things our husbands do and thank them verbally and physically.
4) To encourage us to look for little things we can do as well for our men

The reason why I am so grateful for the little things is because they have saved my marriage.  Through God's miracle intervention and little things, Dave and I were able to revive an ugly, broken, and near-dead marriage.

So what can we do?  Little things like:

• not saying a single word to retaliate
• giving him the last slice of bacon
• making him coffee
• asking him questions about his hobby/sport (that you really up to this point have no interest in)
• maybe wear something a little less practical and more appealing to bed a couple nights a week instead of your pink puppy pajamas (hmm. I need to think about that one! I love my puppy jammies!!!)
• or just sit down and HAVE A CONVERSATION with him (you may TALK to him everyday, but when was the last time you two had a CONVERSATION?)

These are all little things I plan on doing within the next few days.  Sisters, there's always time to woo our husbands.  The world and media are doing to good of a job at it.  But the greatest impact and what your husband desires and needs is what YOU offer. Start today with the "little" things.  You will find, like all things, they add up.

If you are in a flat or struggling marriage or separated from your husband and feel this twisted knot in your gut that your life is so warped right now, please let me encourage you and offer you a source of hope.  You may not have loving feelings towards your husband, but at the same time, you don't like where you're at.  I too was in this very same position. I hated my relationship with my husband.  I didn't want to be anywhere near him.  I wanted him out of my life and had a thousand reasons to justify it.  I did everything possible under the sun to rid myself of this miserable relationship.  I attempted to build a life apart from him.  On the outside, everything was good.  However, there was a numbing in my soul that was not recognizable during this time until God helped me make things right with Dave.  The peace and fulfillment that came from it, helped me to understand why I felt half alive the whole time.  In 1998, I told God I was going to love this man who I was madly, deeply in love with and couldn't keep my hands off of, that I was going to love him as I loved myself, in sickness, in health, for richer, for poorer, til death do us part.  Somewhere along the way, I lost sight of that.  I believe it too was the "little" things.  A little rolling of the eyes, shaking of the head, a comment here, a jab there and a few years down the road, I was disgusted and distant while he was angry. When our marriage broke, we as individuals broke.  No wonder I was numb and half alive.  I had disconnected myself from my other half.  Trying to go 100% on 50% is not possible.

So whether you are happily married, miserably married or just going through the motions, YOU CAN HAVE MORE! THINGS CAN BE BETTER. Repeat, YOU CAN HAVE MORE....THINGS CAN BE BETTER!   And not just better, but RICHER. You know the kind of feeling you have when you eat a rich slice of cheesecake or chocolate cake and you immediately close your eyes and say "mmmm"?  Yes, that kind of rich.  When you completely surrender to God's love and will for your life, the blessings that come truly makes your soul close its eyes and say "mmmm"!  I promise!  I am not any more special than you.  God doesn't love me any more than you.  I didn't do anything special to earn this.  In fact, at my lowest and darkest moments, I wanted nothing to do with God.   Today, I, along with my marriage, and life are just products of God's love, grace and His Spirit working in every nook and cranny.

Because He did this for me, it is my passion to intercede for marriages that are hurting or stalling.  I have done absolutely nothing to deserve the beauty and life that surrounds me today.  To go from the shameful, dark, and painful past to where I am now IS ONLY THROUGH GOD'S AMAZING GRACE AND POWER. There IS a God. You can find Him in your MARRIAGE if you surrender it to Him.  You can find Him in your LIFE if you surrender it to Him.   You know what, I have never been a person to argue about God or prepare strong points to prove He exists.  No need to! My life, my marriage, who I am and the quality of every relationship I have is proof enough.  It's ALL HIM!

Are you ready and willing for God to take you, your marriage, your life and make it better TODAY?  READY? SET? SURRENDER!

Lord, I thank you for this opportunity to share your glory in the little things you have done.  I pray for my sister as she takes in what was shared just now.  Will you please take everything she has to offer you today and mold her, her life, her marriage into your image and glory.  Wipe out all her regrets, failures and mistakes.  Wipe out all the hurt and pain that was inflicted on her.  Give her a new start and a new heart.  Fill her with a desire to spend more time with you and to know you more.  Let her see you in her marriage.  Give her a heart to love, serve and minister to her husband.  Let her relationship with you be contagious to everyone in her life, especially her husband and children.  Show her the little things she can implement today to restore and strengthen her marriage.  Let her love the way you love; blindly with no conditions and no limit.  In Jesus' name.  Amen.

My Love is Not Enough.

Lord, I'm not asking you to help me be a better wife.  I'm not even asking you to help me be more understanding or loving.  I just want and ask you to love my husband through me. Use me.  Show me everything that is hindering your love and eliminate them to make room for you to work.  

The past couple of months have been an entire whirlwind.  Losing the most influential man in my life and going back to school that very same week have made the weeks seem like minutes and days seem like minutes.  Love on my husband? Where's the time for that?  There are dirty dishes, three piles of unfolded laundry, clean dishes to empty from the dishwasher, and dirty ones waiting to go in.  At this minute, on my living room floor there are toys, pencils, a roll of scotch tape, a leftover Christmas ornament, junk mail, a coloring book, a pair of worn socks, pieces of a railroad track and much much more waiting to be picked up.  Let's not even mention the two pass-or-fail mid-terms I need to study for for this week.  

So, Lord, when you ask me to  love on my husband.  How am I supposed to do that when there are so many things piled on top of each other toppling over as we speak?  

When dad died, I couldn't believe how such a man could live such an amazing life, do so many amazing things (you should read his timeline on my Facebook tribute page The Life, Love and Legacy of Howard Hjelm) yet continue to BE every bit as amazing and more.  I couldn't understand it. In fact, I felt discouraged for the rest of us.  I felt discouraged for me, as I looked at how puny my life's achievements and outreach were compared to his. 

Two days after a verse mentioned in a sermon shook up my world-- Galations 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."  Let me tell you, I know this verse backwards and forwards.  I had a bookmark of it as a little girl.  But that day, God breathed life into it.  It was so powerful that the next seven days, God lead me to lead FIVE individuals to commit their lives to Him.  Three middle school girls, a girlfriend and my mom! Yes, my mom!  For those of you who love the Lord and have family members who don't know Him, you know how amazing this is!  He didn't have to set it up that way.  The verse itself was powerful enough for me.  But since He is REAL and such an amazing teacher, He wanted me to apply this and see it work in EVERYTHING in my life.  

So fast forward a couple months later today, we are here and I was perplexed and quite frustrated honestly.  How am I supposed to love on my husband when there are so many things piled on top of each other toppling over as we speak? Perplexed, frustrated and ready to throw my hands up, His Spirit whispers so softly, simply yet profoundly to my numb skull question, "I will love him THROUGH YOU. Let ME do it.  Let ME love him THROUGH YOU." 

Bam! Galations 2:20!  My sisters, do you see?  Do you see, that we CAN'T do a single thing that is meaningful and life-changing without Him?  Not even love?  Yes, we love.  We are creatures of love.  But can we possibly love like God? Let's be honest.  No.  Not on our own.  So then why do we attempt to love on our own efforts in the most sacred relationship designed for us to have on earth?  

So, let's invite Him to work in us and our marriage.  Try this. Say this prayer. Open yourselves up.  Offer Him a clean canvas to work a masterpiece:  

Lord, love my husband through me. Use me. Show me everything that is hindering your love and eliminate them to make room for you to LOVE THROUGH ME.  In Jesus' name.  Amen.   

Go forth and G2:20 Love your husbands today!  I wanna hear some stories!! So please share when you get the chance!

What Our World Needs...Fathers and Husbands Not Ashamed

Not too long ago, I used to have the hardest time sharing my faith with others.  I didn't want to offend them, make them feel uncomfortable or make me look stupid.  After years of seeing God work in my life and those around me, I now realize how stupid it all was.  The times when I was the most hesitant was when the spotlight was on me, as if I, Ai Garner, was doing the saving.  Salvation has already been prepared and is sitting on the table.  My job is simply to point the way.  Today, the power of God in my life is so evident, it's impossible to deny.  There's no way a person can make the heartbreaking, soul-grieving mistakes I have made and still be kissed by God every day.  There's no way I can go from absolutely despising my husband to being an all out slave for his happiness and well-being.  What are the chances that God would take my husband, dust him off, set him straight, and spiritually and mentally transform him just in time when his wife was ready to leave?  I'm sorry, but this kind of change just doesn't happen on our own.   It is THE POWER OF GOD!

Dave and I were at a National Guard officer's conference a couple months back.  We were overwhelmed by the comments of how our marriage was such an encouragement and model for others.  Every time someone shared this with me, I instantly shared our ugly past and God's beautiful rescue.  There was no hesitation, no fear, and definitely no shame.  Why? I didn't do it.  God did!  His power!

Father, as we celebrate Father's day this weekend, I pray Romans 1:16 for our men.  We need Your power to work in their lives in such a way that they stand unashamed, bold, courageous, ready and eager to lead, love, and build Your kingdom.  Give them mental, physical and spiritual rest.  Give them assurance, peace and hope for the worries and burdens they carry.  Strengthen them.  Teach them.  Give them the courage to live with unwavering integrity.  May their lives speak the gospel.    Finally, despite where each of us stands in our marriage, I pray you make it BETTER.  Build for us a marriage that speaks of Your existence and power.  Send Your love and power in the areas of our relationship where only YOU can work and transform.  Thank You Lord. In Jesus' name I pray.  Amen.

Pray Together Stay Together

They all JOINED together CONSTANTLY in prayer...Acts 1:14

How often do you pray WITH your husband?  I can tell you for me, that I don't do it enough.  TODAY, let's set out to not only to pray FOR our husbands, but WITH them.  I wonder how many less marriage counseling sessions would be needed if couples made this a complete necessity in their marriage.

Would you be willing to try this for me?  The next time you have a moment with your husband (it can be on the phone, as you leave the house, in the shower, at soccer practice, before going to bed, etc.) ask him if you guys can pray together.  If he's not used to praying, it's ok.  You can lead.  Start by praying for him, your marriage, your family and for God's hand to work in all three.  It doesn't have to be long and it doesn't have to be pretty.  Just you, him and God.  If you too are new to praying, here's a simple prayer:

Dear God, I thank you for my husband.  I thank you for our marriage and our family.  I ask you to bless, guide, strengthen and protect us.  Please encourage my husband and equip him with the wisdom and strength to lead our family.  Bless him for all he is and does for our family. In Jesus' name I pray.  Amen.

Way to go sister!  God is pleased with you!

What God Can Do with No Arms and No Legs....You Have a Choice.

May 23, 2013 photo, Nick Vujicic, an Australian evangelist  ( AP Photo/Na Son Nguyen)

Sisters, I love this article so much I want one of my own just like it ten years down the road!  Besides the fact that it takes place in my birth country, the message was so obvious it was as if God was reaching out with two arms shaking me and asking me "Do you get it?".  Please take time to read it here when you get the chance.  

I used to think that I was a unique individual with a tank full of energy, enthusiasm and passion. I am now realizing God designed you and me with the very same qualities.  And with those qualities, He can perform miracles and wonders that will heal and transform this world.  On the NBC show, The Voice, one of the contestants, Holly Tucker, chose to sing How Great Thou Art in front of millions of viewers.  When asked about her song choice she said, "I know not everyone will believe the same thing I believe.  And that's ok.  But it would be a shame not to share ALL of who I am."  This is something I have been feeling the very day I decided to put ALL of who I am out there for everyone on Facebook, Google, YouTube land.  Some may think I am crazy. Some may think I am fanatical.  Some may be inspired.  Regardless, ALL need a living hope. Like me, they may not need it now or may think they don't need it.  They may hate it (At first, the apostle Paul sure did too didn't he?). But there will come a time when the fight with that brick wall leads to a search for a better way.  When that happens, I want to be there pointing the way.  And I know for sure God will be there ready to receive!  

We have a choice in how we live our lives.  We can be mediocre. We can be bitter or resentful about our circumstances, our past or how others have wronged us.  We can make excuses about our mental or physical limitations.  We can sit and watch.  Or we can go out and be givers of hope, light and life and be the best that God created us to be.  Look around, as you can see, He's got a fantastic track record with His creations.    The choice really is yours.  But make it soon.  Life really is a vapor. I pray you will choose to be God's best and give Him EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT! 

Lord, I am so thankful for brothers like Nick Vujicic.  Thank you Father for stepping in when he tried to drown himself.  Thank you for blessing him with a powerful story and an equally powerful passion to tell it.  Lord right now, I pray you prepare us.  Strengthen, equip and inspire us to be the women of faith and love you created us to be.  Do miracles in our lives and marriages.  Let our marriage be a ministry for others whose marriages need repair and restoration.  I ask you to daily slough away the dead cells in our heart that prevent us from loving you as fiercely as you love us.  Spread your love, message and kingdom through us.  Silence the enemy's voice in our lives.  USE US NOW! USE US TODAY! IN A BIG WAY! In the name of Jesus. Amen! 

Blessed Be the Name of the Lord!

In sunshine or rain. In abundance or pain....BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD! Sisters, if you're going through a valley, keep the faith despite the pain and allow God's hand to pull you forward! It's not until you reach the peak that you can look back and say without a shadow of a doubt that it was the Lord's grace and strength that got you through. And if you're living in abundance, share it! Tell others of His goodness. Do for others what God has done for you! Regardless of where you're at BLESS HIS NAME! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgOwc2kN-3I