Lord, I'm not asking you to help me be a better wife. I'm not even asking you to help me be more understanding or loving. I just want and ask you to love my husband through me. Use me. Show me everything that is hindering your love and eliminate them to make room for you to work.
The past couple of months have been an entire whirlwind. Losing the most influential man in my life and going back to school that very same week have made the weeks seem like minutes and days seem like minutes. Love on my husband? Where's the time for that? There are dirty dishes, three piles of unfolded laundry, clean dishes to empty from the dishwasher, and dirty ones waiting to go in. At this minute, on my living room floor there are toys, pencils, a roll of scotch tape, a leftover Christmas ornament, junk mail, a coloring book, a pair of worn socks, pieces of a railroad track and much much more waiting to be picked up. Let's not even mention the two pass-or-fail mid-terms I need to study for for this week.
So, Lord, when you ask me to love on my husband. How am I supposed to do that when there are so many things piled on top of each other toppling over as we speak?
When dad died, I couldn't believe how such a man could live such an amazing life, do so many amazing things (you should read his timeline on my Facebook tribute page The Life, Love and Legacy of Howard Hjelm) yet continue to BE every bit as amazing and more. I couldn't understand it. In fact, I felt discouraged for the rest of us. I felt discouraged for me, as I looked at how puny my life's achievements and outreach were compared to his.
Two days after a verse mentioned in a sermon shook up my world-- Galations 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Let me tell you, I know this verse backwards and forwards. I had a bookmark of it as a little girl. But that day, God breathed life into it. It was so powerful that the next seven days, God lead me to lead FIVE individuals to commit their lives to Him. Three middle school girls, a girlfriend and my mom! Yes, my mom! For those of you who love the Lord and have family members who don't know Him, you know how amazing this is! He didn't have to set it up that way. The verse itself was powerful enough for me. But since He is REAL and such an amazing teacher, He wanted me to apply this and see it work in EVERYTHING in my life.
So fast forward a couple months later today, we are here and I was perplexed and quite frustrated honestly. How am I supposed to love on my husband when there are so many things piled on top of each other toppling over as we speak? Perplexed, frustrated and ready to throw my hands up, His Spirit whispers so softly, simply yet profoundly to my numb skull question, "I will love him THROUGH YOU. Let ME do it. Let ME love him THROUGH YOU."
Bam! Galations 2:20! My sisters, do you see? Do you see, that we CAN'T do a single thing that is meaningful and life-changing without Him? Not even love? Yes, we love. We are creatures of love. But can we possibly love like God? Let's be honest. No. Not on our own. So then why do we attempt to love on our own efforts in the most sacred relationship designed for us to have on earth?
So, let's invite Him to work in us and our marriage. Try this. Say this prayer. Open yourselves up. Offer Him a clean canvas to work a masterpiece:
Lord, love my husband through me. Use me. Show me everything that is hindering your love and eliminate them to make room for you to LOVE THROUGH ME. In Jesus' name. Amen.
Go forth and G2:20 Love your husbands today! I wanna hear some stories!! So please share when you get the chance!
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